


Getting Caught and Coming Out

by MrRigger



Category: The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Gen, WAFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 04:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15065054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrRigger/pseuds/MrRigger
Summary: Alicia Carpenter has a secret.  She's not the best at keeping it, but that's okay.  Written for Pride Month.





	Getting Caught and Coming Out

Alicia still couldn’t believe her luck. She had finally worked up the nerve to tell Kelly that she liked her, like she liked her liked her, and instead of the ground opening up to swallow her whole or some other completely likely scenario, the impossible actually happened and Kelly said she liked her back. There was still a bruise on her arm where she kept pinching herself for the first few hours after it had happened, but Alicia didn’t care. There was a pretty girl who liked her back, and that meant Alicia was on Cloud Nine, until two days later, when Kelly held her hand in the movie theater and even rested her head on Alicia’s shoulder, at which point Alicia ascended to Cloud Ten or Eleven.

“So, what’d you think of the movie?”

Alicia kicked herself. She’d been too busy making sure the smell of Kelly’s shampoo was properly imprinted in her memory to follow anything happening on-screen. They had gone to see a comedy, she was pretty sure, and now they were wasting time in Dick’s looking at all the softball gear, waiting for Kelly’s mom to pick them up. If only she could remember to pay attention to something other than how soft Kelly’s hand was, she might be able to call the day a success.

Alicia realized that Kelly was still waiting for an answer, and if she didn’t say something soon, Kelly was definitely going to realize that Alicia was the literal definition of Too Gay To Function, and there would be no recovery from that. “It was funny,” she finally blurted out. “I mean, I remember laughing, anyways.”

Kelly smiled, and Alicia felt herself go red from that alone. “I thought it was funny too. I had a really great time today.”

“Me too! Today was great, I mean, better than great, I would go so far as to say today was the best day,” Alicia started to ramble, only to catch herself.

Kelly blushed and ducked her head, and muttered something Alicia couldn’t quite hear.

“What was that?”

Kelly’s head shot up, eyes wide. “I didn’t say anything!”

Alicia shook her head. “No, you said ‘Best day would be if…’ and I couldn’t hear the rest. What’d you say?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No, if there’s something I can do to make today better, I wanna do it, I wanna make you happy,” Alicia insisted.

Kelly chewed on her lip for a moment, before taking a breath to steel herself. Eyes closed, she said, “I said it’d really be the best day ever if you kissed me.”

Alicia’s jaw hit the floor. Kelly actually wanted her to kiss her - for them to kiss each other?! She swallowed to try and fight her suddenly dry mouth, but despite her moving lips and her gesturing hands, Alicia found she had completely lost the ability to form words and sentences.

Apparently her silence went on long enough for Kelly to open her eyes, nervous and questioning. The look on her face was enough to spur Alicia’s voice into action.

“In the softball section?”

Alicia just wished her voice had consulted with her brain first.

“I don’t care, I just want to kiss you.”

Alicia surged forward, moving on instinct. She bumped noses at first, not quite on target, and they both giggled breathlessly before correcting, and then–

And then…

Well, and then, Alicia experienced what heaven must be like. Kelly was kissing her, and Alicia was kissing her back, and suddenly Alicia understood why everyone made such a big deal out of kissing, why people wrote songs about it.

After what felt like forever the kiss ended far too soon. Alicia sucked in air (how were you supposed to breathe when there was a pretty girl kissing you?), and looked at Kelly. “Was that okay?”

“That was amazing,” Kelly said in a rush as she leaned back in, and Alicia was flying.

The concept of time had surely ceased to exist, but if pressed, Alicia would guess that she and Kelly were redefining her meaning of happiness to include the feeling of kissing the girl you really like for about thirty seconds before they were interrupted.

“Alicia?” an unfortunately familiar voice blurted out in surprise. Alicia and Kelly sprang apart, suddenly three feet away from each other as if they moved quick enough maybe their observer would think they’d been that way all along.

“Mr. Dresden, Harry, hi, what are you doing here?” Alicia did her best not to freak out, but that was impossible. First of all, he was her dad’s friend, which meant he might tell him what he just saw, which would be terrible. Second of all, he was physically incapable of standing in any position other than ‘Intimidating Loom’, which wasn’t his fault for being tall or having creepy facial scars or a burnt up hand, but none of that made him look any friendlier. And third of all, he was her sister’s creepy magic tutor, and not stage magic, real magic, the kind of magic that could turn monsters into goo or set them on fire.

And he’d just caught her kissing her… friend? Girlfriend? Girl she likes and who likes her back? That was accurate and didn’t presume anything.

“The ice cream place in the food court had a gremlin infestation that I took care off, and I just came in here to pick up some tennis balls for Mouse,” he explained, and sure enough, he was carrying some tennis balls in one hand and was starting to bleed through his bandage on the other.

Alicia glanced at Kelly, who was standing stock still, eyes wide. Apparently she felt the same way about getting caught as Alicia did. “Kelly, um, why don’t you go text your mom to see where she is? I need to say hi to this guy, cause he’s a friend of my dad’s, but I’ll catch up in like two minutes.”

Kelly locked eyes with Alicia, and they were full of relief. She took the out for what it was and disappeared around the corner. Alicia watched her until she was gone and for a few seconds longer, then turned back to face the music.

“Um, about what you just saw…”

Harry avoided looking straight at her, the way he always did, but this time he seemed more nervous than usual. “I wasn’t looking for you, I was just trying to find the registers, and it’s not like what you’re doing is any of my business,” he muttered.

Alicia rocked back and forth on her heels. “Okay, thanks, but, um, what you just saw…” Alicia trailed off, not sure what to say.

Harry was a wizard, though, and sometimes he seemed like he could tell what you were thinking. “You don’t want me to tell your dad,” he surmised.

“Or my mom, or my sister, or anybody, really, and actually, if you could forget you ever saw it or that it ever happened in the first place, I’d be really grateful, I swear, you don’t even know, I’d owe you big time,” Alicia spilled out in a rush.

“You should be careful saying that to a wizard, kid,” Harry admonished. “But don’t worry, I’ve had to keep things from your father before, it’s nothing new to me.”

Despite the reassurance, Alicia’s heart was still thumping in her ears. He had caught her, and what the hell had she been thinking, kissing out in public the way she had?

_…soft, pillowy lips… smooth skin…_

Right, she hadn’t been thinking about much of anything, as Kelly had successfully short-circuited her brain. And now just the memory of it was threatening to overwhelm her, which was even more perfect.

Memories of Molly ranting about how she couldn’t keep anything private with Harry around flashed through Alicia’s head. “You really can’t tell him, though, okay?” she insisted. “I know you’re friends but you really can’t tell him, I’m not ready to tell him.”

Harry put up a hand. “Whoa, hey, slow your roll, kid, I just said I won’t tell him.”

“No you didn’t, you just said a bunch of stuff that made it sound like you won’t say anything, but you never actually said you wouldn’t.”

“Well, I’m saying it now, I won’t say anything,” Harry said irritably. “Not sure what the big deal is, but I won’t say anything.”

Alicia rolled her eyes. “ _Not sure what the big deal is?_ Are you kidding? You think me liking girls isn’t going to matter to my super Catholic family?”

“I think there’s nothing in the world that could make your parents not love one of their children, and it’s not like you’re getting yourself arrested or something like that.”

Alicia groaned. “You just don’t get it. I know Mom and Dad love me, but once they know, they can’t ever not know, and I’m not ready for them to know, because it’s gonna change everything. Don’t tell me it won’t, it happened with Molly. Mom and Dad found out about her magic, and everything changed.”

“They still love her,” Harry said, like that was all that mattered.

“Yeah, but everything still changed. They act different around each other, they talk different around each other, and I’m not ready for that to happen to me, I’m just not.” Alicia was breathing hard now, and her hands were shaking, no matter how much she told them to stay still, so she settled for crossing her arms and burying her hands against her sides.

Harry looked like he wasn’t sure what to do next. “Whoa, hey, don’t freak out, come on, don’t freak out. I, um, it’s gonna be fine.”

Alicia sniffled. “Even if my parents are fine with it, what about the rest of my family? How do I tell them? Do I tell them? What if the younger kids blab it to somebody? Even if they didn’t mean it, it’d still get out there, and oh, gosh, what about the church? I can think of at least three people that I see every Sunday that I know would have a problem with me and would tell me to my face, and that’s just off the top of my head.”

Harry grabbed Alicia’s shoulders, doing his best to seem reassuring and not like a kidnapper, and hoping nobody saw him, because there was no way he wouldn’t be confused for a pedophile. “Alicia, kid, you’re spiraling. Calm down, just take a deep breath and blow it out nice and slow. In through the nose, out through the mouth, breathe with me. In through the nose… out through the mouth.” He repeated the cycle several times, breathing deeply so Alicia could mimic him. Alicia did her best to follow through, forcing herself to concentrate on breathing to slow herself down. “Okay, you feel better now?”

Alicia nodded, but didn’t trust her voice as she kept breathing.

Harry let go of her shoulders and straightened up. “Look, Alicia. I’m not going to say anything to anyone. Keeping secrets is what wizards do, just ask any of my friends how much they hate it. As far as I’m concerned, I never saw you, you never saw me, we never met here.”

Alicia breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Uh-huh. A word of advice? Whenever I’ve kept something from your father, it’s always come out in the end, and he usually knew about it before I told him. But it’s never been as bad as I’ve imagined. Now, I’m not going to tell you he knows already, but he’s your father, so he knows you’re going through something, and probably wants to help, as soon as you tell him what you need.”

“I need for life to not change the way I know it’s gonna.”

Harry frowned. “Well, life changes. It’s going to change, no matter what. But it doesn’t always change the way we expect it to. Rarely ever, in my experience. Doesn’t mean the change is necessarily bad, though, things can and do change for the better sometimes.”

“Yeah, sometimes. But what if you’re wrong, and I tell my parents, and they kick me out? I know a kid at school it happened to, now he lives with his cousins.”

Harry did a poor job of stopping himself from rolling his eyes. “Fine, if by some strange situation your parents stop being the best people I’ve ever personally met, and they don’t take the news well, tell Molly to bring you to my place and let you in the wards. I don’t want you to get fried otherwise.”

Alicia nodded. “Thanks. I probably won’t take you up on that offer, but thanks. You never saw me here, right?” she confirmed, pointing at him.

Harry glanced around obliviously. “Saw who?” he asked, before walking off with a crooked smile.

Alicia didn’t bother watching him go, just turned to find Kelly. She didn’t have to look far, Kelly had only gone to the end of the aisle and had watched her to make sure nothing bad happened while she texted her mom. “Who is that guy? I remember he showed up out of nowhere one day after softball practice and gave me a bunch of weird advice that actually wasn’t terrible? And now he just showed up and gave you a bunch of advice, is he like that guy in movies that shows up and teaches a lesson and then disappears again? Because that’s super weird in real life if that’s what he’s doing.”

“Huh? What? No, I don’t think that’s what he was doing anyway, he’s just a friend of my dad’s, and he’s not going to say anything. It was just coincidence he was in here and saw us.”

Kelly blushed and looked down. “I guess we should probably find somewhere more private in the future.”

Alicia locked her eyes on Kelly, suddenly laser focused. “The future?”

Kelly grabbed Alicia’s hand and leaned in close. “I want to kiss you again, but I’m not ready to be out in public yet.”

Alicia rested her forehead against Kelly’s. “I guess we’ll have to find somewhere more private then, because I’m not giving up kissing you after I just found out how awesome it is.”

0oOo0

Alicia couldn’t have kept the smile off her face even if she wanted to. Sitting on the bench seat of her dad’s pickup, they weren’t close enough to sit pressed up against each other, but there was plenty of room for their hands to play with each other, fingers intertwining and teasing, all while her dad drove them home from softball practice none-the-wiser to their flirting.

Honestly, they didn’t even have to be touching for Alicia to be smiling. She had a girlfriend. Girlfriend. Not a girl who was a friend, but a girlfriend, as in an actual girl who was actually dating her. They’d been on two dates to the movies, but that was also getting expensive pretty quickly, so they had decided that going running in the park was a good substitute. Plus it meant more time to actually talk than the movies, and they could duck off the path to kiss in the trees for a little bit, so Alicia was definitely happy. Getting exercise and keeping up with their training regime was a secondary but welcome bonus to both of them.

Plus they saw each other at school, and they had softball together, so they weren’t starving for time together, but Alicia still smiled every time she saw Kelly, even if it was just a new text on her phone. She could admit it. She was in a honeymoon phase, but there was no place Alicia would rather be. Not when being around Kelly made her feel light and floaty, like she could drift away on a cloud of happiness. Alicia knew it was disgusting, but feelings often were, and these feelings felt worth it.

It was getting hard to hide from other people, to be honest, and Alicia was wanting less and less to keep it hidden. She wanted to be able to hold Kelly’s hand without caring about who might see, and their relative lack of subtlety had already gotten them caught by Kelly’s brother. He had seen their text exchange over Kelly’s shoulder and realized what what going on. Fortunately, he’d just given her a hug and promised not to say anything until she was ready.

“See you next week, Kelly,” her dad announced as he pulled up outside Kelly’s house. “Good hustle in practice today.”

“Running with Alicia must be paying off,” Kelly said a touch nervously. “Thanks for driving me home again.”

Alicia kicked open the door and started to slide out. “I’m just going to help her carry her stuff in real quick, okay?” She grabbed Kelly’s gear bag out of the truck bed and carried it up the driveway to the open garage.

“Just put it over there,” Kelly said, pointing to the corner. Alicia did, but lingered, her eyes drinking in the sight of her girlfriend like she was trying to carve it permanently into her memory. She grabbed her hand once she stepped close enough. “Gonna miss you.”

Alicia felt her face warm up. “Gonna miss you too. I’ll text you later.”

“M’kay.” They let their hands swing between them, fingers tangled together. “Wish your dad wasn’t out there, so I could kiss you goodbye,” Kelly admitted, her voice soft.

A thrill went up Alicia’s spine. “Really?”

“I mean, yeah, but I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Screw it,” Alicia whispered, and leaned in, lips meeting softly. It went on for a few seconds, before Alicia pulled back. She rested her forehead on Kelly’s, and breathed in deep. “I’ll text you later.”

Kelly’s eyes were as wide as saucers. _I can’t believe you just did that_ was written all over her face. “Be prepared to tell me everything.”

Alicia stole a quick hug. “As soon as I can.” She marched down the driveway, head held high, and felt her dad’s eyes on her the whole time.

“You know, your mother and I have been trying to figure out why you’ve been so happy lately,” her dad said after she got in the truck. “We considered the idea that you might have a boyfriend, but it looks like we were a little off, weren’t we?”

His voice was easy, and slow, and Alicia momentarily felt like she was the spooked horse he was trying to approach. Michael Carpenter could do patient like nobody’s business, and he’d cracked every one of his children just sitting there quietly until his fatherly aura made you spill whatever it was you didn’t want to talk about. She decided to take the plunge. He’d already seen her kiss Kelly, so it wasn’t like she was telling him anything new. Just saying it out loud. For the whole world to hear. Any second now.

“She’s my girlfriend,” she finally blurted out. “I’m gay.”

Her dad smiled and held out his hand. “Hi gay, I’m Dad.”

Alicia looked at the handshake he was extending and couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing, even as tears prickled in her eyes. She’d built the moment up in her head so much, ready for any number of nightmare scenarios, and her dad’s response was a pun. A stupid pun. Stilling laughing over the tears, she shook his hand. “Hi dad. Is this, um… is that okay?” Alicia hated the way her voice cracked at the end.

“Of course it’s okay, sweetheart.” He reached across and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I love you, and all I want is for you to be happy. If Kelly makes you happy, then I’m happy for you.” He squeezed her shoulder, then started the truck. “That’s all there is to it.”

A wave of relief and confusion swept over Alicia, leaving her twisted up inside. “How are you taking this so well?” she asked, half-rhetorical.

Her dad chuckled. “When God blesses you with seven children, you learn to play the odds. I figured at least one of you kids would bring home somebody we weren’t expecting. Really Alicia, it’s completely fine if you like girls. I promise.”

Alicia felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “You are just…” she sniffed. “You’re the best dad ever, you know that?” she asked around fresh tears.

“It’s good to hear you think so, thank you,” he said as he pulled the truck away from the curb. He rummaged in his door before tossing a travel pack of tissues in Alicia’s lap. She turned up the radio so she didn’t have to hear herself putting herself back together.

It was a few minutes before her dad broke the quiet. “Do you mind if I ask how long you and Kelly have been seeing each other?”

“It’s, um, just a couple weeks. I’ve liked her for a while, though. Oh, and I made sure I was following all the rules for dating that you and Mom instituted for Molly, David, and Matthew, I made sure I told you or Mom where I was and who I was with, I texted updates when appropriate, I was home before curfew, everything else too. I just didn’t tell you that we were dating and not just hanging out.”

Her dad considered the past few weeks. “I appreciate that, and I’m sure your mother will too. Though going forward, we would like to know when a girl is more than just a friend.”

Alicia almost laughed. Like she had a whole host of girls banging down her door – more like it was a fluke Kelly liked her back and now that she had fumbled into dating her, Alicia wasn’t going to give her up for the world. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she managed. “Um, about telling Mom,” she said, trying to figure out the best phrasing. “I didn’t really plan to tell you today, I mean, I didn’t think I was going to say anything until I kissed Kelly goodbye, so if you could, and I know you and Mom tell each other everything, but maybe just this once you could not say anything?”

Her dad paused. “I don’t like keeping secrets from your mother, and you know this is something she would want to know.”

Alicia immediately protested. “Dad, please, don’t say anything, I just–”

He held up a hand to quiet her. He continued as if she hadn’t interrupted. “I think your mother has a right to know, because if you don’t tell her about the things you’re going through, she can’t help you. However, it’s not my secret to tell, so if you want this to stay between us, it will.”

“I don’t want to keep it a secret, I just don’t know if I’m ready to tell her yet, and I want to be the one to tell her. She should hear it from me, I think.”

Her dad smiled at her, and Alicia felt warm inside, like cookies fresh from the oven. “I’m here for anything you need, however you decide to share your news with her. What made you tell me tonight?”

 _My gay overwhelmed my common sense_ was the first thing that sprang to mind, but probably wasn’t what he was looking for. “I don’t know. I guess… I just wanted to kiss Kelly, and I guess I wanted to kiss her more than I wanted you to not find out. I wasn’t really thinking about it that hard in the moment.”

Her dad nodded like that made perfect sense. Of course, he also did that when Hope was explaining the politics of her stuffed animal court, so Alicia wasn’t sure if he was just making her feel good or not. “Why don’t you think you’re ready to tell her?”

“I don’t know,” Alicia said, because she really didn’t. “I’m scared.” She wasn’t sure where that admission came from, but it was true.

“What are you scared of?”

Alicia didn’t answer right away. What was she so scared of? She knew her mom loved her, and her dad had taken it so much better than she ever expected, but every time she thought about it, her heart started racing and her hands got all sweaty and gross and all she wanted to do was lock herself away so no one could see her.

Only that wasn’t happening now. Her heart was still racing, but her head wasn’t blinded by panic. It was still scary, but it wasn’t _as_ scary. She could think, at least.

“I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint her,” Alicia finally whispered. “I mean, she’s already got a book full of wedding plans for all us girls, and she’s not exactly made it a secret that she wants to see us grow up, settle down with a nice Catholic boy, and have a bunch of kids. I can’t make that dream come true for her anymore.”

“Then she’ll get over it.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about disappointing her, sweetheart, you’re not going to do that, and if you do, then Charity will get over it, because that’s what parents do. Something you’ll learn when you’re older is that parents have all sorts of hopes and dreams for their children, only their children eventually grow up and have hopes and dreams of their own, and they don’t always match up. Hey, look at me.” Alicia did. “All your mother wants is for you to be happy. For her, that means a loving husband and beautiful children, because that’s what’s brought her happiness. But if happiness to you looks different than that, Alicia, we want you to go for it.”

Alicia popped her seatbelt loose and slid into the middle seat before her dad could say anything against it. She fumbled with getting rebuckled momentarily, then wrapped her arms around her dad’s chest. “You’re pretty much SuperDad, you know that, right? I love you so much,” she mumbled into his shirt.

Her dad made a few old man noises as he stretched his arm around her shoulders, making things a little more comfortable for both of them. “I love you too.”


End file.
